TY - BOOK AU - Chidekel,Dana TI - Parents in charge: setting healthy, loving boundaries for you and your child SN - 0743202023 : AV - HQ755.8 .C448 2002 PY - 2002/// CY - New York PB - Simon & Schuster KW - Parenting KW - Child rearing KW - Parent and child N1 - Includes bibliographical references (p. 257) and index; Becoming a Parent -- How Babies and Young Children Learn -- My Parents, Myself -- Where You Fit in Your Family of Origin -- Your Temperament -- Unconventional Paths to Parenthood -- The Toughest Job You'll Ever Love -- Parenting: A Job Description -- Defining a Parental Role -- What Is Authority and Do You Have It? -- Authoritative Versus Authoritarian Parenting -- Being the Boss Is Not Always Fun -- The Future Is Now -- "Any Port in a Storm" Parenting -- Don't Expect a Good Night's Sleep -- And You Thought All That Was Behind You -- The Toughest Job You'll Ever Love: Why You'll Love It -- How Parents and Children Experience the World: Sometimes the Twain Shall Meet -- The Culture of Early Childhood Versus the Culture of Adults -- How Children Experience Time -- How Children Think -- What Makes a Child Secure? -- The Gift Is the Relationship -- The Hazards of Overscheduling -- Rethinking the Birthday Party -- Communicating with Children: A How-to Guide from Birth and Beyond -- How Children Learn the Meaning of Language -- What About Your Tone? -- Mean What You Say -- How Do Children Think? Some Concrete Facts About Abstract Thought -- What's Not Okay About "Okay?" -- Giving Clear Commands -- 1-2-3: The Pause Between Direction and Action -- Empty Threats -- The Many Faces of No -- The Right Kinds of No -- Another Way to Think About No -- The Wrong Kind of No -- I Want to Say No, but I Don't Know Why -- Not Enough No -- Helping Your Child Channel Anger -- Boundaries, Limits, and Other Unpopular Essentials -- What Your Children May Not Do -- On Being Formal in Informal Times -- What You Should Not Do -- Beyond Crime and Punishment: An Ounce of Prevention -- Say What You Mean -- Defining the Rules -- Accentuate the Positive -- Disobedience by Any Other Name -- Don't Give 'Em Enough Rope -- Time Out--Uses and Misuses -- What Is an Effective Time Out? -- Beyond Crime and Punishment: The Right Kind of Cure -- Making Things Right Is a Process -- The Place of Guilt -- The Difference Between Guilt and Shame -- An Alternative to Shame: Cutting Everyone a Little Slack -- "Sometimes My Kids Make Me Mad" -- Reparation: Putting the World Right Again -- Making the Consequence Fit the "Crime" -- How to Love Children So They Will Love Themselves -- A Foundation of Trust -- Helping Your Toddler Develop Self-Esteem -- Helping Your Preschool or Kindergarten Child Develop Self-Esteem -- School Readiness and Self-Esteem -- Don't Compare Your Child with Others -- How Much It Helps to Feel Understood -- Speaking It Will Not Make It So -- Sometimes You Just Need to Cry -- Why We Miss What's There to Be Seen -- Never Can Say Good-bye N2 - How many times have you said, "How many times do I have to tell you ...?" Why do the terrible twos exist and what makes them so terrible -- and for whom? In Parents in Charge, Dr. Dana Chidekel answers these questions while providing a road map to raising children who will become competent, responsible, thoughtful, and successful adults. Full of uncommon wisdom and common sense, based solidly in developmental theory and the most recent brain research, this empowering guide offers practical solutions to everyday parenting dilemmas: What is effective discipline, and when and how do you use it? How do you promote real self-esteem in kids? How can you stop saying no all the time? With honesty and simplicity, Dr. Chidekel also tackles hot-button topics of current parenting practice, including children's calling adults by their first names, out-of-control birthday parties, and the limits parents must put on their own behavior. Enlivened with stories, anecdotes, and a healthy dose of humor, Parents in Charge gives you the tools you need to raise children that you -- and other people -- will love and enjoy ER -